I’m back with exciting things!!

Hi,everyone! Most of my exams are finally over and so I’m finally free from learning top to bottom of Lord of Flies and the romantics of poetry (give me one theme and I’ll be able to snap back quotes like hot potato). This stress that I’ve enduring during this week has been massive but also, it made me freak about how freaked out I’m going to be during my actual GCSEs….hahahaha I’m screwed.

I’m still sorting out a few projects for my blog during the summer and one of those projects will be getting you guys involved with it too which I’m incredibly excited about 🙂

This blog itself has been discovered and talked about at school a little bit which I’ve had  few taking- the-piss comments but I’m going to still continue to write on this blog how I always have done because my 2 years and half work isn’t going to go to trash because of a few comments from people.

School isn’t going that well at the moment. People have been spreading stuff about me which isn’t their business and it feels like a huge invasion of privacy.However, these people aren’t going to stop me from writing on here and connecting with you guys on this site.

Anyways, guess what?

I went swimming in a swimsuit…yup, I finally gotten out of my little shell of self-consciousness and decided to not give a shit. The moment I got into the sea, I was pushed in by one of my friends. Reece and co. thought it would be funny to take advantage of my vulnerable state and recreate scenes from Jaws and grab me by the ankles which ended up with me having to swim away from them.  It was a very fun day 🙂

How has your week been? Or how did your exams go? Please tell me as I need a serious catch up with you guys 🙂

My secret project will be announced very soon and I can’t wait for you guys to get involved 🙂

See you tomorrow,

Astrid xxx

aka Hideaway Girl xxx

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Realisation.

I’ve come to the realisation that I can’t be whatever I want to be.

  1. I can’t be a politician or anything that can really impact the world. I’m not a person who people vote for, people think I’m stupid. ‘It’s always you Astrid’ when I say a wrong answer in class or makes a stupid comments. Is it because I stutter and can’t say certain things? Or is it because I’m not as pretty as my friends and don’t get straight As without revising.
  2. I’m finding it hard to believe that I’ll get into uni right now. I’m doing really shit at the moment to be honest even though I spend so many hours revising but only  for a meh mark.
  3. I have no skill. I don’t have that thing that I’m really good at. The only thing I’m good at is History but even that, I don’t do well in exams and what can I use history in? I don’t really want to become a teacher

Feeling a bit stuck at the moment. Sorry, I’m not putting this nicely but I’m having a breakdown and I feel so stressed and closed in right now.

There’s only  one year until my GCSEs which might seem far away but by the way I’m going, it feels like I need at least two years to just get a C in my sciences.

I don’t know what is wrong with my brain this year, all I’ve been feeling is stress. The people around me add to it but it’s not their fault because I don’t think they know how much this whole school thing means to me.

I want to make my parents and myself proud because I know they want to become successful and happy. But I’m really not happy at the moment and I can’t see any future job that could make me remotely happy.

I feel really really closed in right now and for the first time in a while, I’m not looking forward to the future. The future was the only thing that really kept me going.

 

 

 

happier tunes//poem

prettier wings,

sharper chirps,

skinner stalks,

is what a bird should possess

 

the other birds fly away,

because you don’t listen to their

violation of that pigeon or sparrow

but you sing happier tunes,

you make up your own clue.

 

though you still cry,

though you still crave,

not a good-bye

because you still love

those memories of

flying above

with those,

prettier,

skinner,

sharper,

birds.

 

 

 

Was it tipsy or being just damn happy?

Hi everyone! I wasn’t sure if to post this blog post yesterday but I asked my blogging friends and they said it’s my blog so it’s my decision. And this blog post, will include a disclaimer which I don’t think I’ve ever done *shock*

Disclaimer: this blog post isn’t encouraging alcohol or anything like that. This is just what happened at my friends house the other day.

As I’m getting older, this blog is going to become more mature and have topics which most young children wouldn’t experience but as most of my readers at the moment are my age or older, I thought it would be okay to write about this kind of stuff now.

So if you saw my last blog post, you could see that I was really nervous about going camping with my friends. I would recommend reading that blog post before reading the rest as then you’ll have the full story.

Anyways, I did go in the hot tub. *Congrats Astrid, you actually decided to strip and not give a shit what the others thought* But I had a shirt on because I was wearing a very boobie out swim suit (as I got it about 2 years ago but never bothered to buy a new one as I never go swimming).  The hot tub was okay but I kept getting kicked in the vagina by thousands of feet as it was pretty small and only 4 people were meant to be in there so I didn’t stay in there for that long.

We ordered chinese and one of my friends brought alcohol which was only enough for about 3 people. I paid for one and my other friend drank a ‘shit mix’ (I think you can get what that means). Anyways, that was like 80% pure alcohol but mine was like 5% and I drank 2 bottles. So it  wasn’t that bad but I’m a light weight and it was my second time that I probably drank alcohol without an adult keeping an eye on me. However, Reece and my friend, Lily decided to be my parents and tried to get me to go to sleep at 9 30ish but I was having none of it so David and Reece had to keep rugby tackling me to get me to bed. I don’t really remember all of this though like the party I went to in October.

My mother decided to call me which I was apparently very happy about. And my friends were screaming about how much they loved her across the tent so she guessed that there was drinks so when I came home, the following morning, she checked my awful stinky breath straight away. She was surprising okayish about it with a slight look of disappointment but I think it more amusing than anything.

Reece said that I was not at all body conscious after drinks and thinking back at it now, makes me want to die in a hole and cringe. However, I had an amazing night… kinda.

The weather was crap, it was thundering and raining so we couldn’t go to the hot tub until 3 but I was too tired to go then so I stayed inside. It was super hot, like as hot as Malaga so I was trying to get myself to cool down the whole night.

Then after the others came back, the hot tub started beeping and nobody knew how to stop it . So it went on like that the whole night.

I went to sleep at 4 then woke up at 6 to cockerels and birds chirping and other animals making noises as Vipers house is literally next to a house which sounds there is  like a farm in their back garden.

Anyways, what was the moral of this story? Nothing really but I’m so proud of myself for coming out of the self conscious wall even though it involved alcohol to get out.

I’m going to Bath tomorrow which I’m so excited about, what are your plans?

Astrid,

aka Hideaway Girl xxx

 

 

 

Make myself feel good day.

Hi,everyone! So today, it’s Reece’s and my anniversary of a year of our relationship, how gross.

So later on today, I’m going over to Vipers house with a bunch of friends (girls and boys) to have a sleepover in a tent in the middle of the garden. I’m kinda excited about it but I’m also very anxious about it. At Vipers house, there is a hot tub and all of my friends are going in there but I’m awkward and very self conscious about my body especially around my girlfriends (because they all have amazing bodies and look hot in their swim stuff). However, there’s me with my too small swimsuit so I’ve decided to skip the hot tub and sit on the side playing mastermind with Reece.

I feel very shit about myself today and everything-slightly-against-society’s-expectations is popping out at me. I need to make myself feel good about myself so I’m probably going to skip revision and try and sort my mental state out.

I HAVE SO MUCH REVISION TO DO, HAHAHAHA I WANT TO CRY.

I’m sorry that my posts have been really short recently and not full of funnyish content because I’m going through one of those phrases.

I’ll try to catch up with you guys tomorrow,

Hideaway Girl xxx

 

not shocked.

Yesterday, I was both shocked by the events of Manchester. No sorry, not shock but disappointment, sadness and well, to be honest, I wasn’t surprised there was another terrorist attack. However, I was shocked that it was in that place and with a generation of young people and loved ones who were all part of this community.

Maybe people will use this attack to campaign prejudice and discrimination towards many people: muslims, immigrants and refugees. However, I’ve heard this man was born in Britain but it doesn’t matter where he was born. It doesn’t matter who he was, who we remember is the victims of yesterday, the past, today and the future. This happens everyday and we aren’t all notified of it because it’s in another place in the world or victims of different ethnics, beliefs and religions. However, influential people are notified and they don’t really do anything about it.

Did you know that more than 200 people, mostly women and children, were killed by an airstrike in Mosul by the US just last month? Don’t forget, there’s probably been many more since then and before. Innocent killings are happening all around the world.

However, we are a new generation. We could change this if we tried. Of course, terrorism of different kinds will always exist but we can make this world a little better.

 

 

 

 

 

Getting political on this blog

Hi,everyone! I’m multi tasking at the moment, phoning Viper, listening to a English revision podcast and messaging Reece (Carlos). Viper is reading my blog right now and when he reads it out loud, it sounds so bad, is my blog childish? Oh dear lord.

During the summer, I’m making a debate group with Viper as we decided to change the setting of our arguments from the classroom where we would shout across the classroom to a more civilized manner.

But also, I was wondering if to make another page on my blog to write about my views on situations in the news or in history? I really enjoy reading blogs where they talk about current events, such as sherinaspeaks. I can’t really start my another page at the moment as I have end of year exams but I will be able to do in July. What do you think?

Astrid, aka Hideaway Girl xxx

 

The pressure of loved ones| poem

 

there is no word to

what I can describe.

it’s blurred.

it’s like a bribe

to my confused vibes.

 

i try to make it better

i try to make it work

i just want as simple as a letter,

not with all of these unnecessary quirks

 

the fighting,

the bitching,

it’s frightening.

 

to see your most loved ones,

at each other around the clock,

is a ton of rocks,

on your pressure

 

i can’t pick one

it’s like picking what density to have.

 

please just let me have both.

I love both.

Malaga traveller

Hi,everyone! I’m back, whoop whoop 🙂 It’s been so long, 2 weeks? As you probably know, from this title and also Reece’s guest blog post, that I have been away to Malaga for a 5 days with school. It was so good! I was really nervous about going and having to speak Spanish but I really developed my spanish  speaking and also, my confidence because I don’t think I would have dared to go up to a angry looking Spanish meat seller to ask how much a weird looking leg would cost, so I’m pretty happy with myself.

Here’s my vlog which is longer than usual but it’s got three days in it so really, it isn’t too bad. Although, I didn’t film the last day (Friday) as I felt very down and panicky and also we were going home.

We went to a Spanish high school on the Friday where we got to speak to the students there who were all so lovely. Although, our conservations were a bit confusing, we still found a way to communicate and make each other laugh. After that, we got their instagrams and so we are still keeping in contact in that way.

I miss them, they were all so lovely 😦

Anyways, I’m going to Centre Parks today with my family and so I won’t be able to post/read anything but I will make sure to write you a few posts when I get back.

I have been so busssssyy,

Hideaway Girl xxx

 

Updates and gossip from the one and unheard ‘Carlos’

Good evening the world of blogging! (Maybe a bit to formal for me but It will work) My given name by Astrid (aka hideawaygirl) is Carlos, my real name is Reece as some know. A few brief things about me! 

Like any typical teenage boy I like to play sports.                                                 For those who have seen her YouTube channel and twitter those videos and photos of me are a bad repsentation of what I look like !       I like art and do a lot of drawing and photography. Also play the guitar a little not the best at it though. And I’m currently missing Astrid. 

Astrid has gone to Malaga until Saturday. She made it there safely as I saw from mugs on snapchat😂 I hope she has some what of a good time there and maybe finds a passion for Spanish and maybe like it a little more 😂 more than likely not 😂 here’s a list of things that I hope happens when she comes back 

1. She isn’t so pale, no joke light reflects off her. (It’s a joke I’m not a mean guy before you report me to something I have no clue what)

2. She buys me a present. Look hear me out I know it sounds selfish but you know it’s nice to have a gift after someone who you speak to every day decides to just to go well im of to Spain 2 weeks before it happens.

3. She bonds with her friends more. I had to put something nice in the list •-•

4. She doesn’t have a Spanish boyfriend. Yeah I’ve seen it happen those Spanish boys tempt girls with their dark brown skin and dark wavy hair ‘Hey bebé ¿te gustaría venir a mi casa’ – only thing I need to know in Spanish ( I take German as a language)

5. She doesn’t struggle on the mocks that I’ve struggled on.

So that was my list of things I hope for when she gets back.
 If anyone else is taking mock tests for the new gcse syllabus 1-9 science thing or a matter of fact any tests I wish you luck also I would advise from a personal viewing read some of Astrids stuff on stress and tips on revising its helped me. 
A quick thing or 2 before I sign out. This month on the 28th we would of been going out for a year which for teenagers is mental and I’m happy she hasn’t dumped me because despite my injuries and other things it’s been the best year of my life so far. And this is in response to her ew relationships ( would recommend the read) teenage relationships can work. This week I will try to post small things about miss hideawaygirl if not thank you for reading this and getting this far writing a post is weird for me. Also one more fact about me I have a weird sense of humour . So let’s finish on a joke 

 Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

The retail store. 

Oh you didn’t find that funny. I’m sorry I’ll work on my joke telling for next time ! 

This is Carlos/Reece and I’ll see ya later ! 😉