Was it tipsy or being just damn happy?

Hi everyone! I wasn’t sure if to post this blog post yesterday but I asked my blogging friends and they said it’s my blog so it’s my decision. And this blog post, will include a disclaimer which I don’t think I’ve ever done *shock*

Disclaimer: this blog post isn’t encouraging alcohol or anything like that. This is just what happened at my friends house the other day.

As I’m getting older, this blog is going to become more mature and have topics which most young children wouldn’t experience but as most of my readers at the moment are my age or older, I thought it would be okay to write about this kind of stuff now.

So if you saw my last blog post, you could see that I was really nervous about going camping with my friends. I would recommend reading that blog post before reading the rest as then you’ll have the full story.

Anyways, I did go in the hot tub. *Congrats Astrid, you actually decided to strip and not give a shit what the others thought* But I had a shirt on because I was wearing a very boobie out swim suit (as I got it about 2 years ago but never bothered to buy a new one as I never go swimming).  The hot tub was okay but I kept getting kicked in the vagina by thousands of feet as it was pretty small and only 4 people were meant to be in there so I didn’t stay in there for that long.

We ordered chinese and one of my friends brought alcohol which was only enough for about 3 people. I paid for one and my other friend drank a ‘shit mix’ (I think you can get what that means). Anyways, that was like 80% pure alcohol but mine was like 5% and I drank 2 bottles. So it  wasn’t that bad but I’m a light weight and it was my second time that I probably drank alcohol without an adult keeping an eye on me. However, Reece and my friend, Lily decided to be my parents and tried to get me to go to sleep at 9 30ish but I was having none of it so David and Reece had to keep rugby tackling me to get me to bed. I don’t really remember all of this though like the party I went to in October.

My mother decided to call me which I was apparently very happy about. And my friends were screaming about how much they loved her across the tent so she guessed that there was drinks so when I came home, the following morning, she checked my awful stinky breath straight away. She was surprising okayish about it with a slight look of disappointment but I think it more amusing than anything.

Reece said that I was not at all body conscious after drinks and thinking back at it now, makes me want to die in a hole and cringe. However, I had an amazing night… kinda.

The weather was crap, it was thundering and raining so we couldn’t go to the hot tub until 3 but I was too tired to go then so I stayed inside. It was super hot, like as hot as Malaga so I was trying to get myself to cool down the whole night.

Then after the others came back, the hot tub started beeping and nobody knew how to stop it . So it went on like that the whole night.

I went to sleep at 4 then woke up at 6 to cockerels and birds chirping and other animals making noises as Vipers house is literally next to a house which sounds there is  like a farm in their back garden.

Anyways, what was the moral of this story? Nothing really but I’m so proud of myself for coming out of the self conscious wall even though it involved alcohol to get out.

I’m going to Bath tomorrow which I’m so excited about, what are your plans?


aka Hideaway Girl xxx




Make myself feel good day.

Hi,everyone! So today, it’s Reece’s and my anniversary of a year of our relationship, how gross.

So later on today, I’m going over to Vipers house with a bunch of friends (girls and boys) to have a sleepover in a tent in the middle of the garden. I’m kinda excited about it but I’m also very anxious about it. At Vipers house, there is a hot tub and all of my friends are going in there but I’m awkward and very self conscious about my body especially around my girlfriends (because they all have amazing bodies and look hot in their swim stuff). However, there’s me with my too small swimsuit so I’ve decided to skip the hot tub and sit on the side playing mastermind with Reece.

I feel very shit about myself today and everything-slightly-against-society’s-expectations is popping out at me. I need to make myself feel good about myself so I’m probably going to skip revision and try and sort my mental state out.


I’m sorry that my posts have been really short recently and not full of funnyish content because I’m going through one of those phrases.

I’ll try to catch up with you guys tomorrow,

Hideaway Girl xxx


not shocked.

Yesterday, I was both shocked by the events of Manchester. No sorry, not shock but disappointment, sadness and well, to be honest, I wasn’t surprised there was another terrorist attack. However, I was shocked that it was in that place and with a generation of young people and loved ones who were all part of this community.

Maybe people will use this attack to campaign prejudice and discrimination towards many people: muslims, immigrants and refugees. However, I’ve heard this man was born in Britain but it doesn’t matter where he was born. It doesn’t matter who he was, who we remember is the victims of yesterday, the past, today and the future. This happens everyday and we aren’t all notified of it because it’s in another place in the world or victims of different ethnics, beliefs and religions. However, influential people are notified and they don’t really do anything about it.

Did you know that more than 200 people, mostly women and children, were killed by an airstrike in Mosul by the US just last month? Don’t forget, there’s probably been many more since then and before. Innocent killings are happening all around the world.

However, we are a new generation. We could change this if we tried. Of course, terrorism of different kinds will always exist but we can make this world a little better.






Getting political on this blog

Hi,everyone! I’m multi tasking at the moment, phoning Viper, listening to a English revision podcast and messaging Reece (Carlos). Viper is reading my blog right now and when he reads it out loud, it sounds so bad, is my blog childish? Oh dear lord.

During the summer, I’m making a debate group with Viper as we decided to change the setting of our arguments from the classroom where we would shout across the classroom to a more civilized manner.

But also, I was wondering if to make another page on my blog to write about my views on situations in the news or in history? I really enjoy reading blogs where they talk about current events, such as sherinaspeaks. I can’t really start my another page at the moment as I have end of year exams but I will be able to do in July. What do you think?

Astrid, aka Hideaway Girl xxx


The pressure of loved ones| poem


there is no word to

what I can describe.

it’s blurred.

it’s like a bribe

to my confused vibes.


i try to make it better

i try to make it work

i just want as simple as a letter,

not with all of these unnecessary quirks


the fighting,

the bitching,

it’s frightening.


to see your most loved ones,

at each other around the clock,

is a ton of rocks,

on your pressure


i can’t pick one

it’s like picking what density to have.


please just let me have both.

I love both.

Malaga traveller

Hi,everyone! I’m back, whoop whoop 🙂 It’s been so long, 2 weeks? As you probably know, from this title and also Reece’s guest blog post, that I have been away to Malaga for a 5 days with school. It was so good! I was really nervous about going and having to speak Spanish but I really developed my spanish  speaking and also, my confidence because I don’t think I would have dared to go up to a angry looking Spanish meat seller to ask how much a weird looking leg would cost, so I’m pretty happy with myself.

Here’s my vlog which is longer than usual but it’s got three days in it so really, it isn’t too bad. Although, I didn’t film the last day (Friday) as I felt very down and panicky and also we were going home.

We went to a Spanish high school on the Friday where we got to speak to the students there who were all so lovely. Although, our conservations were a bit confusing, we still found a way to communicate and make each other laugh. After that, we got their instagrams and so we are still keeping in contact in that way.

I miss them, they were all so lovely 😦

Anyways, I’m going to Centre Parks today with my family and so I won’t be able to post/read anything but I will make sure to write you a few posts when I get back.

I have been so busssssyy,

Hideaway Girl xxx


Updates and gossip from the one and unheard ‘Carlos’

Good evening the world of blogging! (Maybe a bit to formal for me but It will work) My given name by Astrid (aka hideawaygirl) is Carlos, my real name is Reece as some know. A few brief things about me! 

Like any typical teenage boy I like to play sports.                                                 For those who have seen her YouTube channel and twitter those videos and photos of me are a bad repsentation of what I look like !       I like art and do a lot of drawing and photography. Also play the guitar a little not the best at it though. And I’m currently missing Astrid. 

Astrid has gone to Malaga until Saturday. She made it there safely as I saw from mugs on snapchat😂 I hope she has some what of a good time there and maybe finds a passion for Spanish and maybe like it a little more 😂 more than likely not 😂 here’s a list of things that I hope happens when she comes back 

1. She isn’t so pale, no joke light reflects off her. (It’s a joke I’m not a mean guy before you report me to something I have no clue what)

2. She buys me a present. Look hear me out I know it sounds selfish but you know it’s nice to have a gift after someone who you speak to every day decides to just to go well im of to Spain 2 weeks before it happens.

3. She bonds with her friends more. I had to put something nice in the list •-•

4. She doesn’t have a Spanish boyfriend. Yeah I’ve seen it happen those Spanish boys tempt girls with their dark brown skin and dark wavy hair ‘Hey bebé ¿te gustaría venir a mi casa’ – only thing I need to know in Spanish ( I take German as a language)

5. She doesn’t struggle on the mocks that I’ve struggled on.

So that was my list of things I hope for when she gets back.
 If anyone else is taking mock tests for the new gcse syllabus 1-9 science thing or a matter of fact any tests I wish you luck also I would advise from a personal viewing read some of Astrids stuff on stress and tips on revising its helped me. 
A quick thing or 2 before I sign out. This month on the 28th we would of been going out for a year which for teenagers is mental and I’m happy she hasn’t dumped me because despite my injuries and other things it’s been the best year of my life so far. And this is in response to her ew relationships ( would recommend the read) teenage relationships can work. This week I will try to post small things about miss hideawaygirl if not thank you for reading this and getting this far writing a post is weird for me. Also one more fact about me I have a weird sense of humour . So let’s finish on a joke 

 Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

The retail store. 

Oh you didn’t find that funny. I’m sorry I’ll work on my joke telling for next time ! 

This is Carlos/Reece and I’ll see ya later ! 😉

here comes the sun.

Hi,everyone! How are you guys doing? I’m really good and I’m so happy there is a bank holiday tomorrow for us British folk. Anyways, it doesn’t really matter to me anyway because tomorrow, I’m going to Malaga for a school trip and you’re going to be coming with me too, you lucky things. Yes, I’m going to be vlogging but I don’t know how much as I don’t how how much storage I have as I’m using my iphone but I’m deleting all my social media apps while I’m away so I can have as much storage as I can get.

However, you’ll see another familiar face there if you have watch my videos but you’ll also get to meet my other best chums which I’m really excited for.

Right, so I’m really disorganised. I haven’t even packed yet and I have so much studying to do but I just wanted to stay my final goodbyes before I get sunburnt to the skin (or just stay my freaky ass pale).

I’m pretty nervous about tomorrow. In some ways, it’s a good nervous but in other ways, it’s a like ah shit I don’t want to have a panic attack. Yeah, my anxiety is going to go off the roof tomorrow. Like, I’m going to miss Reece while I’m away which sounds really cheesy and that but it’s true and I know I’m going to feel a little homesick during the trip.



Got any tips for flying on an airplane with anxiety? I need some and I may even do a blog post about flying when I get back because I know so many people get nervous about it.

Anyways I’ll see you next week,

Hideaway Girl xxx

Dear A, I’ve realised something

Dear A, 

I normally do this around the anniversary but it’s in June and I want to write this out now because I’ve thinking about you a lot recently. It’s been nearly 4 years which is a long time in this fast world of growing up however, it feels like only a year ago. I’ve been doubting our friendship that we had. Am I just making up this friendship? But I have to knock myself back and tell myself we were friends. You grew up with my brother and we three used to go out together. Of course, we weren’t best friends but as I’m older than you, I feel like I have a duty to my brother as well to write this on his behalf as well as he was young and he’s growing up a lot and I’m scared he’s not going to remember how close you guys were.

I’ve moved on and it would be selfish if I haven’t by now because you wouldn’t want that. I’ve only had a few moments this year where I have had to sit down and talk about you because I’ve wanted to and also, it’s good to talk about you.

I think every year since you’ve died, you’ve become even more inspirational for me. As a self conscious teenager, who’s natively worrying about her dyed hair, I realised that you must have felt so so so much worse about not having hair. However, you still went outside when you physically could and you smiled like nothing was the matter.

The craziest thing at the moment for me is that you were able to smile even though you knew something was very wrong. I can’t help to cry now at how I’ve just realised how amazing you were.

You smiling seems like a miracle to me. If I was in your condition now, I would maybe been a person who would sunk into huge depression and lock myself away. However, I don’t know that and never will hopefully. You know another side of life than me and it’s incredible that you were seemed happy.

There was of course times when you were upset and I remember one incident which I didn’t really notice as upsetting then but now, I find it devastating.

I just wish I knew when you were alive how strong and influential you would have on my everyday views now. There’s so many things I wish I did differently and I’m really sorry.

I was only 11, I didn’t really know what was happening.

My brother is starting to say snippets about you at random times and it’s such a relief. You were his favourite girl, you were and are special to him.

Astrid xxx


For readers, 

For over two years on this blog, I have written letters each year to a friend who passed away from cancer. I don’t go into deep detail about it as for privacy but I post it once a year because I know people will have been through the similar situation as I have been and also because I feel like I’m sending it out to A even though, in my beliefs, it will never reach her.

On this blog post, I won’t be replying to comments as often as I normally do but I will read all.

You can also email me at hideawaygirlblog@gmail.com if you need to talk and I will reply to them as soon as possible,

Thank you for all your support and love,

Astrid xxx

(btw: that’s my real name)

Previous letters to A 

  1. Dear A
  2. Dear A, it’s been three years. 


tips to relax and drug addiction|Guest post.

Hi,everyone! How has been your easter? Mine has been fantastic, although I have many mock exams coming up and also a Malaga trip next week so if I don’t post often, don’t think somethings bad happened to me. I’m just crying in heaps of revision or in the sun in Spain.

Like me, there is so many of you who are also stressing about exams. Sadly, in many teenagers and adults, they find drugs as a way out of stress even though, it will make things much worse.

However, luckily, Dorothy emailed helpful tips on keeping calm. Although it’s never really affected me, this is such an amazing cause. Anyways, there’s what article Dorothy gave me.

To Relax, Stop Doing These 3 Things

You lie in bed and thoughts race through your head. Did you do enough today? Will you be able to get everything done tomorrow? Are you making enough money? Are your connections on Facebook leaving you in the dust? Will your children grow up to be good people? Who will take care of your pets if you die? And these thoughts are limited to bedtime anxiety. They can strike you as you try to unwind with some television or a glass of wine.

There are times when your brain simply will not turn off. And, that can send you into a frenzy of activity because you feel panicked. You feel like you are falling behind. In these situations, you know you should be relaxing, but it feels impossible. How do you fix this problem?

Just because relaxation is something you are having trouble achieving doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of it. You aren’t too uptight to enjoy your life and your quiet time. It could be the result of your lifestyle and the habits you have picked up. If you are struggling with relaxation, it’s time to jettison your unhelpful practices.

Stop Drifting into the Past and the Future

Some people say thinking about the past is a form of depression and thinking about the future is a form of anxiety. Getting trapped in either of those states won’t allow you to let go of tension. Instead, work to be part of the present. This is often achieved through mindful meditation, and you don’t have to be an expert for it to work.

Try anchoring yourself. Pay attention to the bottom half of your body. Breathe deeply. Close your eyes if you need to. And, think about your feet. How do they feel? Can you feel your socks? Your shoes? Focus on the surface beneath them. Then, move on to your calves and upper legs. Are they cold or hot? Are your muscles tight? Can you feel your muscles? Taking the time to ground yourself in your present sensations can alleviate worries about the past and future.

Stop Playing with Your Phone

If you have notifications switched on, your phone may be buzzing or pinging constantly throughout the day. Even without any incoming calls, you may be hearing about Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and Facebook activity. It can be hard to avoid looking at your phone every five minutes so you don’t feel left out.

If you really want to relax, you have to turn off the phone. It’s preventing you from relaxing. Give yourself permission to turn your back on emails, calls, and social media. You will feel uncertain at first and you won’t know what to do because you think of your smartphone as a constant in your life. But, you will grow to appreciate the silence when you are trying to relax.

Stop Fighting the Silence

The phone isn’t the only thing that fills the soundtrack of your life. You are also used to the radio, music, sounds drifting in from people outside or down the hall, television, traffic, and more. Do you even know what total silence sounds like? If you can tune out these sounds and appreciate silence, you will benefit. Studies link noise pollution with high blood pressure and heart attacks.

Of course, a whole day without sound would probably drive you crazy before it relaxed you, so start small and build up if you need to. Start with five minutes. Try wearing noise canceling headphones or earplugs. Or, find a place free from noise. You could spend time in an isolation tank or take a bath and put your ears under the water.

When you take out some of the factors in your life preventing relaxation, you will feel it come more naturally to you and you will reap the benefits.


Jasmine Martin is a writer, avid backpacker, and a follower of Zen Buddhism. She writes a lot health, behavioral problems, various treatment program and recovery centers. Learn more at: http://www.rehabcenters.com/free

There’s some useful links with further information and helplines:



UK drug addiction helpline 

Drug facts


Hideaway Girl xxx