Anxiety for me.

Hi,everyone! Fun fact:I’m writing a blog post while watching Big Bang theory which I’ve never done before as I always have complete silence from the occasional Kings of Leon. (Later, I decided to listen to Coldplay, whoops)

I wanted to talk about my anxiety on here again as I don’t like to talk about it with any of my friends, family or even Carlos at the moment as I feel like it just isn’t something they want to hear so I thought I would write a blog post on it. It’s also easier for me to write rather than to talk about it.

Today, in psychology, my teacher started talking about phobias and anxiety, and how herself has had anxiety and has gotten help from it.It’s crazy how mental illness and anxiety has become a little more accepted than it has in the past few years as I feel like in 2013 or even 2014, she wouldn’t have dared to go in front of the classroom and tell a bunch of teenagers of her experience;I found it really inspiring. I started to feel very uncomfortable in the classroom as I felt she knew that I knew what she meant and I felt everyone knew there was ‘something wrong with me’. It was just my mind making me paranoid to be fair.

Some of you may know that I have a massive fear (some say phobia) about loud noises. I think in year 8, I refused to go outside for like the first week in the summer holidays incase I heard a slightly loud noise like a car door slamming (it was pretty extreme compared to now). My anxiety and fear got so bad that my mum decided to send me to therapy which did help as I got to talk and process in a safe and calm environment from loud noises.

However, I still get panic attacks frequently. I think they are slowly rising because of the pressure of my future exams and that I’m failing science so badly… like really badly. I can’t talk to anyone about it at the moment and I feel like I’m back to square one because sometimes, at the weekends, I refuse to go outside because I’m too self-conscious and scared that people are judging me so I use the excuse of ‘revision’.

I went to town with my Carlos and my another friend on Saturday. I couldn’t queue up in any of the shops that I went into apart from New Look (as I’m familiar with the staff,I’m a New Look addict).  I dunno, I just can’t queue in lines anymore because I get so confused easily.

My anxiety has gone from I can cope to I’m exhausted from crying and shaking all the time. I feel like it’s just pressure from school, not having a part time job at the moment and also from parting away from friends a little.

Growing up is scaring me as well which isn’t something a 15 year old should be scared of but it’s because I will have to look after myself when I can’t even look after my dying cactus. I should probably water it. I’m a plant killer, geez.

I’m not trying to brag or make you feel sad or whatever about my anxiety but I wanted to write this all day because I needed to talk about it but without having to explain myself, if you know what I mean?

Anyway, I would love to get some emails from you guys so you can email me at hideawaygirlblog@gmail.com,

Hideaway Girl xxx

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39 thoughts on “Anxiety for me.

  1. Love, Soph January 23, 2017 / 8:32 pm

    This was really great to hear about, I too feel like I’m always failing science, especially Chemistry & Physics, and I tend to loose interest in them. I’m quite good at biology but the other two I just flop. I find that what helps me is to try write down everything the teacher says in a way I understand and youtube always helps me as I associate youtube with something I enjoy, so watching science videos on there always help me to consolidate my (lack of!) knowledge. Some good ones are mygscescience/gcsescience & ive heard primrosekitten is good but I don’t know as I haven’t watched her. If you need help or anyone to talk to, I’m always here. Stress and anxiety gets worse around and coming up to exam season – I have GCSE food in a months time and it causes me untold worries, even though everything will probably go fine!

    Lots of love xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • hideawaygirl January 23, 2017 / 9:03 pm

      Awh thank you so much!! I’m going to check out the websites for sure! I use getrevising to do revision timetables but I needed something else so thank you much for this comment :)) xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • Love, Soph January 23, 2017 / 9:04 pm

        Get revising is so useful, if you go onto The Student Room too which is under the same username/login, there are forums and things full of revision tips and you can ask questions that get answered super quick. My username on there is sophie080802 if ever you needed to message me 🙂 xxx

        Liked by 1 person

  2. GirlMasked January 23, 2017 / 8:33 pm

    Hiya, thanks for sharing this…I could really relate to having anxiety. We don’t have a psychology class in our school which although like yourself I’d probably be uncomfortable at times, I do think it’s a pity we don’t have one.
    Anyway…as for the anxiety itself I have used the revision excuse as well but I’m saying this from experience with anxiety and what I’ve learned is that although it’s terrible frustrating we kind of have to eventually come to terms with it and accept that it’s something we’re going through and will get through. I do get that this is definitely so hard to do and I haven’t mastered it yet.
    Anyway sorry for the awfullu long comment I just felt I had to say something and also you are not alone in any of this even by telling someone you trust, I find is a massive help as it somehow feels like a huge weight is lifted. You are not alone and I believe you can get through this 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • hideawaygirl January 23, 2017 / 9:05 pm

      Awh thank you! Psychology is a pretty interesting subject but it can be uncomfortable with people for anxiety at times to learn about. I literally thought I was the only one to use the revision excuse as well and I had a period where I was fine going out on the weekends but now I’m just so self consious but I’ll be fine, I’m just so stressed :/ also, I love long comments thank you :)) xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • GirlMasked January 24, 2017 / 11:24 pm

        No problem
        Yeah i get what you mean
        Ah no, you’re not. I actually thought the same until I read your post, so thanks! 😊
        Yeah I understand, it defo can be tough especially when you’re stressed about so many things and they all pile up, well that’s what I find anyway!
        Hope today was okay 😊 and that things improve for you soon.
        Aw thanks thats good 😊
        No bother.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Miss Dino January 23, 2017 / 8:47 pm

    Lovely post. I don’t know if I have anxiety.. I get stressed out over the simplest things, like having a test the next day in a class. The thing that I get “stressed” over, bothers me for multiple days until that activity or day passes. I don’t know if that would be considered anxiety though.

    Liked by 1 person

    • hideawaygirl January 24, 2017 / 6:33 am

      I’m not really sure as I can’t feel what you’re feeling and anxiety is different for everyone so I’m not sure but if you talk to someone about it, you may figure it out x

      Liked by 1 person

      • Miss Dino January 24, 2017 / 1:33 pm

        Thank you! I think it’s just me overreacting over the littlest of things, but I will figure it out!

        Like

  4. ES Ordinary January 23, 2017 / 9:12 pm

    Don’t worry I know how you feel. I think my anxiety has gotten worse this year and honestly I’m tired of crying too. But I know everything’s gonna get better someday, and you should remember that too. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  5. justagirlteenagelife January 23, 2017 / 9:17 pm

    Loved this post! 💕 I go through the same thing with loud noises just on a smaller scale. I hate loud noises so much. I can’t be outside when fireworks go off and I hate when I put the dishes away and they make a loud noise, I have to close my eyes. To be honest I am socially awkward and can’t even look people in the eyes, not even my friends! I’ve never had a full blown panic attacks but I have had little ones. I panic so much through the day it scares me. I have never told anyone this and it feels good to get it out xx

    Like

  6. Just A Blank Space January 23, 2017 / 9:44 pm

    I am currently working on a story in which the main character gets panic attacks from loud noises too. She is a young girl trying to find her way back to a normal life after some bad things happened. She meets a young boy who helps her fight her way back. I am sure just as my character you will find the strength to start to learn to deal with your anxiety again. I know growing up is scary and I am scared of it too. I couldn’t keep a plant alive either so I got a cactus. It survived for a while until I left my home for a year. I don’t think your parents don’t want to hear about your anxiety. Maybe if you told them about it, you could get some help again but if you don’t want to you can always feel free to talk to me. I am always there to help just like the boy in my story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • hideawaygirl January 24, 2017 / 6:36 am

      I’m looking forward to reading your story if you’re publishing it on your blog? I’m pretty scared tbh and I think I might talk to my mum today about it and say how it’s getting bad again

      Like

  7. Ljoy N January 23, 2017 / 10:40 pm

    I have anxiety and even depression as well. Lately I haven’t had any panic attacks which is good but I remember so vividly the panic attacks I did have. It was a horrible experience. I went and talked to the school guidance counselor about it for weeks. But I stopped seeing her because I felt like it wasn’t even helping me. So I decided to help myself instead and now I’m feeling so much better than last year and two years ago. I feel more confident and just a happier me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • hideawaygirl January 24, 2017 / 6:38 am

      That’s so good to hear! Panic attacks are awful and they might not appear for days or weeks but they soon come back for me in a way. I’m glad that you’re feeling good, keep up the good work 🙂 x

      Liked by 1 person

  8. SweetSecert January 24, 2017 / 3:42 am

    I was nice to hear about how your coping with anxiety. I never really had anxiety i was just really paranoid about a bunch of things. Going to middle school was a big step i ended up being so scared i hid in a bathroom for awhile to redeem myself. Your post was really inspiring to me and to others that follow you. Since i am currently taking performance 1. I’m learning to really let me be myself (I am really weird and awkward so its a bit hard) My teacher is impressed with how far i’ve come so far.

    Sweet Secret XX

    Liked by 1 person

    • hideawaygirl January 24, 2017 / 6:39 am

      Performance must have been terrifying! But well done, that’s so cool and your teacher sounds really supportive 🙂 good luck with performance xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • SweetSecert January 24, 2017 / 2:48 pm

        Thank you we are having a musical soon so, i think ill try to audition and see what happens.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. The Average Gurl January 24, 2017 / 7:01 am

    Your so brave to have talked about it! And I agree, school can make everything feel stressful xx

    Like

  10. Sindy January 24, 2017 / 3:24 pm

    It’s always good to get things out once in a while.
    I really like science but I’m not confident at all in my teaching skills and I’m sure online could provide more help. But if you ever have any specific questions you can’t find an answer to, I can try to help.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Elm January 24, 2017 / 9:25 pm

    What you’ve done is you’ve INSPIRED me: not made me feel sad. It’s good that you can talk about this, and trust me when I say that you CAN talk; you’re not alone; even if it’s just talking to us, it’s so important to get your thoughts out there so that they don’t run around in your head. You’ve taken those first steps and I’m so proud. Always remember we’re here, whenever and I do mean WHENEVER; you are a great person and always have been. That’s not DESPITE your anxiety, because your anxiety doesn’t affect the fact that you’re a good person. You just ARE. However you feel, you aren’t alone, we love you and could never ever get sick or tired of you talking about things that affect you xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • hideawaygirl January 25, 2017 / 7:42 am

      Thank you Elm! Your comments always make me feel better and all of what you said is exactly the same for you :)) xx

      Like

  12. Imasassthing January 26, 2017 / 3:45 pm

    Wow, so this is kinda the first time I’m actually reading your blog and I must admit, it is amazing and tbh, inspiring, really. It makes me feel better to read this, since it is very very relatable, and it feels nice to have someone who can actuallyy understand the things that are going on inside me. Wow, girl. Really appreciating ur courage to outstand and accept yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. anxiousgirlanonymous February 6, 2017 / 9:40 pm

    You’re really brave posting this. I know how anxiety isolates you and it’s horrible. You feel like you just can’t be normal. Hope you’re recovering, even if it’s slowly 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

  14. anonymousdotanxiety March 17, 2017 / 6:47 pm

    You are so strong for posting this, I totally understand the growing up part, that is one of my biggest issues within my anxiety and I really hate it but I do the same thing with writing it all down cause it’s so much easier than talking. Good luck with all your exams and classes I am sure you will ace them all x

    Liked by 1 person

  15. RN March 28, 2017 / 4:07 pm

    I really like how you’re so true to yourself, acknowledging your anxiety. That takes some guts, and I admire you for that.

    I can see where you’re coming from. I personally experience anxiety every time I talk to someone new. When that happens, I reassure myself that the situation is not as bad as I’d made it out to be.

    I think there’s a way to lessen your anxiety, though. You don’t need to worry about every little mishap that occurs. Everyone makes mistakes, and we all try to keep up with our work. Instead, you should calm yourself down and look at the situation from another point of view. Be happy about yourself, but acknowledge that there’s going to be a lot of things that make you nervous. After all, you can’t be anxious about everything, but the less that worries you, the better off you are.

    Liked by 1 person

    • hideawaygirl March 29, 2017 / 6:32 pm

      Thank you much, I’m so happy that I write my anxiety experiences on here sometimes because I feel so much more free from my worries 🙂

      Like

  16. sky May 15, 2017 / 8:41 pm

    I also enjoy writing my feelings down than rather than sharing them out loud with someone. everytime i start talking about my problems or feelings i get so overwhelmed with all different kinds of emotions i just cry, making it hard to understand what im trying to say to begin with. i really enjoy you blog mostly because i can relate to it and i like how you write just as you would speak.

    Liked by 1 person

    • hideawaygirl May 17, 2017 / 7:20 pm

      thank you 🙂 xx writing is an amazing escape 🙂 x

      Like

  17. abookishworldsite June 15, 2017 / 5:38 am

    omg I just discovered your blog and I am so in love with your posts. I googled other blogs started by teens, because I just started one of my own(very similar to yours based around the same idea) and I wanted to know if there were others who were doing what I was doing because I wasn’t sure if I should share it with my friends and was wondering if it was a stupid idea. But looking at yours inspired me so much to have more confidence in myself and I can completely relate to your anxiety, I’ve delt with my own for about 5 years now and I know how much of a struggle it is to live with it on a daily basis. I honestly was feeling so depressed and alone and kind of embarrassed about having started my own, but your posts have just motivated me to keep going. Maybe you can check out my blog too if your interested at fromteentosociety.wordpress.com !:)

    Liked by 1 person

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